Newly-weds

She stands at the sink in the restroom with a bunch of cosmetics on the narrow ledge under the mirror. Her dark hair is skimmed tightly back from her face and gathered in a low pony tail on her neck. She wears khaki capris, a snug fitting black polyester tank top, a tiny gold crucifix on a gold chain and worn out flip-flops.

Tearing open the plastic bubble tethering her new mascara, she announces, “I never wear make-up.” She gazes mournfully into the mirror, lifts and drops her hair onto her neck. Shrugging slightly, she continues as if we are in the middle of a deep  conversation.

“Ewww, I’m meeting my in-laws for the first time. We’re moving to Newton, Iowa. I’ve never lived anywhere but Texas.” She looks at me and grimaces, “I shouldn’t have had a beer already. But you know,” her voice rising, “it’s lunch time.”

She squeezes her left eye shut and jabs at her lashes with her mascara. It leaves big clumps on her lashes and when she blinks, she smears both the top and bottom of her eye. I rip off a section of the paper towel, run it under the faucet and hand it to her.

“I’d wipe off the wand before you use it, otherwise it’s a mess and not a good look. Listen, they’re gonna love you. Newton? I’m telling you, Newton is one of the most livable towns in the mid-west. It’s very nice.”

Her eyes glisten as she dabs at her face, squares her shoulders and resolutely looks at herself in the mirror.

When I get to the car, I pull out the Atlas and find Newton. It’s a little town about 25 miles north. When I pull out I look for cars with Texas plates but don’t see any so she must be from the big trucks that park in their own section. Well good, I think, someone in the family is working.

Plant Life in the Driveway

I stuffed 4 bulbs of elephant ears and 3 or so of caladium into my favorite pot that sits on the front end of the drive-way. I watered every once and a while early on but nothing happened. So I buried some more bulbs.

Then I went on vacation and  forgot all about them.

When I came back home, there was quite a crowd. They stood at attention, bowed and  performed a spontaneous, synchronized wave.  I was frankly, quite touched.

Shortly after, they collapsed from the heat and needed huge water infusions to bring them back from death’s jaws.

Potluck Gold

Food For My Family is a blog full of recipes, clear step by step instructions and the kind of photography that makes you think you could be a much better cook if you just got in there and rustled around a bit more.

Here is something to take to your next family barbecue. It’s Watermelon Lime Sorbet actually frozen in a scooped out melon rind (chocolate chip seeds) and sliced into wedges.

“Oh, this?” You say modestly to Aunt Phyllis who never fails to snark about the plastic domed food trays from Costco that you usually tote in.

“It’s just sooo hot, I thought we needed to have something sweet ‘n cool.” Truth be known, you’re thinking. Shut the front door! Winner, winner – chicken dinner!

“Oh, no, Phyllis. Actually, it’s easy.  I make a  simple syrup, chop up some watermelon and add lime. The recipe is from a great online food blog.”

“No, Phyllis, not a bog, a blog. It’s B.L.O.G. I’ll show it to you later. Here, have a slice.”

Bit O’ News

I read a snippet in the paper under Weird News that 6 strippers were awarded $195,000 in a lawsuit in Florida after claiming 4 of them were unlawfully strip-searched by police at a raid at the Biggins Gentlemen’s Club where they worked — as strippers.

I snickered at the irony, finished reading the rest of the paper and threw the whole thing in recycling.

Much later, I fished out the paper to check out the “Thirty Minute Recipes” for dinner inspiration and ran across the stripper story. Hmm, I thought — Why can’t strippers object to an unlawful strip search? And what is so G.D. funny about that? And another thing, Biggins Gentleman’s Club? Pul–leeze. 

So, what’s my take-away? Pay attention, it’s the price of admission to the human race.

Friar Pea body

Gregor Mendel, the father of genetics, liked to play the lottery. I imagine him lining up with everyone else at some rickety stall in the market place to take his chances at winning the big one  — $25,000 guilders. (A little over 14,000 dollars at today’s exchange rates.)

He evidently gave up playing and got about the business of  life, going to college and deciding at 21 to become a monk. Always a smart guy, between monk duties and teaching he got interested in how physical characteristics passed from one generation to another.

By growing peas for 8 years he discovered that both parents equally contribute to their kids’ gene pools; it’s the mix of dominant and recessive traits that decides Junior will have red hair like crazy Grandpa Jake.

Too bad Mendel died (1822 – 1884) before the rest of the world caught up with his ideas. It would have dampened the sting of losing the lottery. Oh, and I wonder what he would say about today’s supermarket tomatoes — firm, red, round and tasteless. Hmm, guess taste is recessive, Gregor?

Re-entry

Long Lake in Park Rapids, Minnesota

Hey, whasup? You’ve been gone forever!  Can’t wait to hear all ’bout it. Didja have a wonderful time? 

… Glad to be home? 

Hellllo. Yeah, right. It’s been forever.  It was Graaate, realllly great. 

Weather was good most of the time, everyone got along and we did lots. Plenty of food, drink and late hours. (Ha. Ha.) Yeah, am glad to be home to my own bed. Got lots of pics. 

 …Wow, sure is hot.

Can’t wait to see ’em all.  Saw your facebook updates.  Yeah, it’s been really hot ever since you left. And it’s suppose’ to stay like this until next week sometime.

Really? Glad the A.C. is working, though the ice maker isn’t. Think I’ll pick up a bag of ice at Costco.

… Wanna go?

Sure. What are you doin’ for dinner?

I dunno, you?

No clue, let’s check out the samples.

Deja View

Today I went to a new Trader Joe’s store in town. I expected the Big Dealness had died down since the store already had a big week-end launch. It made the paper and everything. But I am wrong.

The scene looks like a colorized film version of a Russian grocery store in the 1950’s. (Although the Costume Department somehow didn’t catch the eastern european vibe.)

There are long lines of shoppers brushing by each other as they trudge past rows of partially stocked shelves. They wince, murmur and with a huge air of resignation, reach for a jar of this or a package of that. They toss things into their carts, grip their handlebars and push off with a lack of expression.

Two buck chuck at Trader Joe’s, image by Wikipedia

At the back of the store there is a huge wall of wine with a jaunty sign that announces, $2 Buck Chuck! Inflation has raised the price; Charles Shaw’s famously cheap, not-bad wine is selling for $2.99 a bottle.

There is plenty of it.

Customers who have reached this special place happily hoist mixed cases on their shoulders or fill all the empty space in their carts. People laugh, share stories and exchange all kinds of personal information the way you do with someone you will likely never see again.

A tall, muscular clerk lifts cases from the top of the pile and sets them on the floor.  He looks an awful lot like Ronald Reagan. ( Nice job, Casting.)

Souvenir

A vacation photo from a trip out west.

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful,  we must carry it with us or we find it not.  — Ralph Waldo Emerson