Tag: AOL

Speechless

Have you noticed the increase in ads on the internet? AOL streams a sequence of light-hearted news headlines every morning. But before you can get to the You Tube video of the poodle-mix playing the piano and singing, you have to watch an ad.

Okay, I don’t fault a little ad revenue for AOL to offset the operating costs they amass finding the poodle piano player in the first place, but here is the thing. Lately, they have run the same ad before every little video snippet.

It’s an exchange between a mother bear and her son; they are both good-sized red animated characters. The mother has on pearls and the son, a bow tie and a jacket. The little bear is walking out the door when his mother stops him to brush off scraps of toilet paper on his backside. The little bear beams when his mother tells him how well he cleans up.

A voice-over says, “We all go, why don’t we enjoy it a little more with Charmin?”

Big O Count-Down

If you want, with a few clicks of your mouse, you can sign your name to a big farewell card being assembled by AOL to mark the end of Oprah Winfrey’s 25 year talk show run.

Image from Media Outrage.

Well, gee. What’s going on?

Is it the threat of a random debilitating disease? Is it an emerging cause that demands 100 per cent of her passion and energy? Is it simply fatigue and a reckless “I need to start over!” plea? Boredom? Hunger? Ennui?

Her curiously bewildered fans turn to each other and screw up their faces in deep  concentration. They start to describe their Oprah moments; one by one they recount their favorite guests, topics, clothes and the stupendous giveaways that dazzled audiences through the years.

“To OWN,” one of elders among them finally says. “Right,” another chimes in, “To OWN.”

“O. W. N?”

“Oprah Winfrey Network.” The chorus murmurs in reply.

“AAARG! You have GOT to be effing kiddin’ me!”