To the Menu Lady

I look forward to Wednesdays because that’s when the lady in the paper puts in her 7 day menu plans. I like it that they are quick to prepare, lowish fat, and mostly use stuff you don’t have to buy at Whole Foods or Dean and Delucca.  I can usually count on at least 2-3 good ideas from the column; someone with a young  family would probably score higher as she always sticks in a couple of suggestions about food you pick up and eat with your hands. 

But I have to tell you, this week was a complete bust. I hope it isn’t a sign of the times — gradual audience disconnect, a feeble attempt at a rally and then a complete collapse.

Menu Lady,  in case you are listening, here is feedback from a representative of the people who love you best.

A fresh plum is not and will never be considered a dessert. I will never serve  lettuce wedges, potato wedges, tomato wedges and sweet potato wedges all in the same week. I don’t care if the kids love Mexican food, I will not heat up frozen  meatballs in taco sauce and serve them in taco shells. And really, serving deli tuna salad on a lettuce leaf surrounded with pickled beets and sprinkled with paprika for an evening meal is simply Lazeeeey.

Ok, I thought the catfish idea with the beer and the half cup of hot sauce for Thursday night was pretty adventurous but throwing chicken in with chicken soup, rice and cheddar cheese on Monday night was really the mark of an amateur. I did think your idea to buy a cheesecake and top it with fresh berries for Saturday night was a good one —  though, c’mon —  not the most original thought in the universe !

Buck up Menu Lady, — here comes fall. Bring on the chili and the red velvet cake, let’s get back to normal.

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