Asparagus Stalk-er

I have a new and unlikely hero. Euell Gibbons.

Gibbons was a naturalist and writer who did tv commercials in the seventies; typically he stood in a roadside ditch waving a cattail as he talked about living off the land. I thought he was a fruit cake wacko.

But the other day, I read an account of a 6 day camping trip he took with John McPhee one fall in Pennsylvania. Called The Forager, the story is part of Secret Ingredients, a collection of stories, mostly funny, from the New Yorker magazine on all things gastronomic.  

The two set out with a canoe, sleeping bags, nested pots and a Coleman stove. They did not carry any food supplies with them intending to gather all of their meals from the countryside. After the first few days, they agreed they would introduce, a meal at a time, certain staples such as salt and cooking oil picked up en route.

Euell Gibbons ate what he foraged because he liked it not because he was a survivalist. Left to his own devices he’d make liberal use of butter, eggs and spices.  

Along with describing the 16 meals they share, McPhee includes Gibbon’s wry observations about all manner of things and interesting details about his fully lived life. The fortunate reader gets to vicariously feast on dandelion roots, oyster mushrooms,  persimmons and catnip tea.  

Gibbons was 64 when he died in ’75. If he was alive today I bet he’d have a huge following with Tweets such as:  

Not suffering like the early Christians. 

Mushroom? Toadstool? Learn the good ones or die.

Toss out the crops. Eat the weeds.

I never was a hay burner.  

March is Tough

It is March Madness. It snowed, KU didn’t have a good day and Denver, the sweet yellow lab, got busted. I could have launched my campaign to clean a little area each day but …. I didn’t.

I did rummage through the shelf alcove next to the refrigerator where I store all printed materials related to anything mechanical. (Funny how you repeat the habits of your family, my mother always stuffed everything like that in a certain kitchen drawer.)

It was a memory lane sort of task, where is the pizza stone, the espresso foamer, the clay pot that roasted chicken and carrots? 

Oh, here are the directions for my Superfast Waterproof Pocket Thermometer! Great, I need it now. 

I made pork tenderloin with an onion pan sauce, roasted parsleyed potatoes, and carrots with tarragon and white wine. It turned out to be a good day.

Play it again, boys

BMI is the performing rights organization in charge of collecting royalties for US songwriters. They put together a list of the top 100 played songs on American radio and television up to 1999.

Get this, the number one song on the list has been played 8 million times. If you started playing it right now, it would take over 45 years to reach 8 million.

Could you stand to listen to this for that long?

BTW, do you want to find new music that sounds like stuff you like? Visit music-map, type in Righteous Brothers and a visual word map will appear showing music groups similar to them.  The closer the groups are, the greater the likelihood if you love one you’ll love the other. This sixties pop group is right next to the Righteous Brothers. 

Goodbye Liz

It seems to me the world is a little less glamorous today without Elizabeth Taylor. Which is a little odd since we had pretty much of a non relationship. My notion of her is formed by the Public Eye which was unable to turn its gaze whenever she showed up.  

So through the years I sorta watched her movie career unfold, gossiped about her choice of men, at times marveled at her spot-on indifference to snipers, and envied her drop-dead beauty.

It’s just too bad that a death often prompts the finest tributes to a life.  And so we hear that she was the first and probably the last of the great movie stars. She was a breathtaking beauty, an activist, a philanthropist, a humanitarian, a businesswoman, a stalwart friend, a comedienne and a protective nurturing mother.

No question about it. Her life seems gloriously lived and I’m sure she would have loved to hear today’s chatter about her.  

Personally, I liked hearing that she and Debbie Reynolds were still friends in spite of that Eddy Fisher thing.  And I liked learning that she had a mutation that caused her to have double rows of eyelashes. And I liked knowing that she was surrounded by her family at the end.

Hold the Hill

When I was growing up my father would declare on certain spring mornings, “It’s time to Muck this place out.” He had spent quite a bit of time in the military where I think he first learned to love that call to cleaning action.  

What would follow is a purge of out-grown clothes, bits and parts of over-used toys and the general flotsam and jetsam created by a family of 5 kids and 2 adults.  

Nothing would do except to tackle a room with a three-step exercise: pile everything in the center of the room, study it, decide its fate. It was one of three Keep, Toss or Giveaway; the Decide Later option I see organizers of today use was not a choice. 

I think about this as I am  shifting things on my desk to claim a working surface.  Muck out, I say to myself. The first thing I pick up is a snow globe with a kitchen aid mixer in it. I shake it a few times and see that the snow drifts as faithfully as ever. I see from the sticker on the bottom that it cost $3.99 from my favorite salvage store. 

Does it deserve prime desk real estate?  Well, it’s witty. It doesn’t leak, it reflects light nicely, it even has solid wood base.  I put it back. No muck for the mixer this spring.

I’m inspired, you?

Looks like everyone likely to eat pork have signed on. The pork people aren’t looking for new customers; they are going to get pork-lovers to eat more. They changed their slogan, Pork, The Other White Meat, to Pork Be Inspired.

Frankly I don’t have high hopes for the campaign.

If you ask me I think the pork people should do what the prune people did. When they found out prunes brought to mind constipated old people, they changed the name.  No less than the US Food and Drug Administration told the prune people, “Yes, you can call yourself dried plum people.”

So why not just rename pork? Call it … dinner. What’s for dinner, mom? Well, dinner is for dinner, son. Oh, yay, yay says son.   

While they’re at it, pork people need to own a holiday. Candy people sell 2 billion dollars worth on Halloween. Set up a meeting with the Santa Claus people before the dried plum people get around to it. Let it leak that the cookies and carrots thing is so over. Make Santa happy with a side of bacon, a nice pork medallion or ham’n beans.  

Well what do you know, I just became inspired by pork.

Starry Night

The 100 Word Challenge from Velvet Verbosity invites writers to tell a story in exactly 100 words based on a one word prompt. This week’s word is sleek

SuperMoon was down a flight of stairs from the sidewalk. The door opened to a wide hallway with a ceiling lit like a starry night.  

Jay stood inside facing the entrance. 

He had been the gatekeeper ever since the club opened. His custodian’s job paid the bills but every night except on Sundays, he was at the club. SuperMoon attracted a sleek, moneyed crowd partial to late nights, highballs and muted jazz.

Jay pulled at his shirt sleeves and patted his hair.  Tonight’s the night, he told himself. He opened the door, nodded hello and nothing was ever the same.

Cash In

How many times have you been sitting around with friends; someone says something funny and you all yuck it up. Then someone says that would make a great t-shirt! And everyone agrees. And life goes on.

Back in 2000, two guys who had entered an online t-shirt contest thought maybe they could make something of it. And so they started Threadless.

You upload your own t-shirt design to the site. Visitors and members of the community rate the design on a 1 to 5 scale. Each week a number of the top designs are selected for production.

Here’s the good part. The designer is paid $2000 and a $500 gift certificate (or an additional $200) plus $500 for every time they reprint the shirt. If designing isn’t your thing, send in a slogan; if it’s selected you’ll get $500.

Bonus: An online shop carries t-shirts for all ages and the prices are very good. 

Happy St. Pat’s Day

The first time I heard the Elders was at a big party. They had donated a night of music as part of party package for an auction and a friend of ours had the winning bid. It was sooo much fun. Looking back it is not surprising the band has since become a Celtic Rock Super Group.

The 6 member band proudly declares they were founded in 1998. Lead vocalist Ian Byrne hails from Ireland but the rest of the band are “American, Kansas City and Midwestern –bonded by a love of all things Irish.”  

It’s lucky for us that they found one another. Here are the Elders singing a song about Irish girls; it has the lyrics so you can singalong which along with drinking a green beer or two is guaranteed to set irish eyes a’smiling.   

PS: Happy Birthday Jacqueline!