Dorothy Parker reportedly spent lunches for 10 years straight sitting around a round table in the Algonquin hotel in New York wisecracking with her literary friends.
Her quotes are perfect when you buy a blank greeting card and then draw a blank at figuring out what to write. Tuck these somewhere with your extra stamps:
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
This wasn’t just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.