Every year, back comes spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.

Dorothy Parker reportedly spent lunches for 10 years straight sitting around a round table in the Algonquin hotel in New York wisecracking with her literary friends.

Her quotes are perfect when you buy a blank greeting card and then draw a blank at figuring out what to write. Tuck these somewhere with your extra stamps:  

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

This wasn’t just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.