I love this microwave. After it reaches the time I’ve set, it buzzes politely and says,

Too bad all my appliances don’t give me affirmations every time I use them.  It could be revolutionary — the sly vacuum cleaner that says, “Great workout,” just before you put it away, the prim little toaster that says, “You light up my life,” or the George Foreman Grill that says, “Yo, have a nice day.”

The down side of this affirming microwave is it does get a little pushy. If I don’t take out whatever I put in to heat in a reasonable amount of time, it will buzz again with an impatient edge to its voice. Ignore it again, and it bleats louder. Finally I fling open the door and slam the cup on the counter.

Good grief, I think.