To all it may concern:

So sorry to hear about your troubles with Governor LePage. Seems he has a little difficulty with impulse control, courteous discourse and general deportment befitting the highest leadership position in the state. We also heard he has decided not to resign and is seeking spiritual guidance.

Well here’s the deal. We the people of Kansas will swap you one for one.

It’s only fair to provide full disclosure. Frankly, Governor Brownback is no prize. We would encourage your state budget director to get with his/her team and find a way to squirrel away a very, very healthy cash reserve. On the up side, Sam Brownback is steeped in lots of religion. He speaks quietly and presents himself with a great deal of decorum usually in a suit and tie.

As for Paul LePage’s spiritual quest,  we can guarantee you there is no scarcity of religious tour guides in the great state of Kansas.

Fondly,

People of Kansas