It came in an officious-looking 9 x 12 manila envelope with Open Immediately  stamped on it. I rip it open and out falls a giant brochure announcing that I, Stevie Reynolds, am  a winner. I gotta admit, I like how they think.

There is a real key attached to the brochure, a key to my new (a 2008 Ford Fusion SE ) car. Other prize options are $15,000 in cash, a Walmart gift card from $5 to $2500, two tickets to a KU MU game on the 50 yard line or $75.

All I have to do is scratch and match. My lucky number is 992392, I take the key off the brochure and use it to scrape off the silver medallion for the big reveal. It Maaatches!

What threatened to be a day full of routine labor has morphed into a day of bright promise. I need to take my brochure and hustle into Bob Allen Ford to see if I, too, will join the lucky winners from Bristol, TN, Ellijay, GA and Osage City, KS.

And then it occurs to me, the big prize is a 2008 model? And don’t we all know this is 2011 and really – in car years, awful close to 2012?

Geeze, Bob Allen Ford. I don’t think so. Take my name off your list of winners. And really stop sending me this crap.