Month: September 2010

Jump on This

The folks at Susan Komen are creating a global mosaic, photos of people joined together to raise awareness about breast cancer. I just finished uploading a photo, it’s number 669. In the space of writing this sentence 5 more photos have been uploaded. Check back to see how many people get the message and as the Komen people say, watch the world turn pink.

Must Be Heaven

Some people swore that the house was haunted. Ever since she had died, that kind of talk didn’t matter much to Bella. Anxious to find a place of her own, the little bungalow with the huge front porch looked perfect for her. She had already visited 3 other places – a loft downtown, a split level ranch and a duplex.

This place was the last one on the list. If it didn’t work out, she had no idea where she’d end up.   

She switched her suitcase from her right hand to her left before she started up the stairs.   When she reached the front door, she peered through the beveled glass window and saw two children curled up on a couch. She heard a woman’s voice over the sound of the television.

 “Frank, would ya get the kids and come to dinner. It’s ready now.” 

 The boy on the couch threw his head back and hollered, “Hey Ma, whatta we  havin?” 

 “Spaghetti and Meatballs.”

 Thank God, Bella thought. Italian. Without bothering to open the door, she   glided into the house.  

 Nothing was ever the same again after that.

PS: Submitted to the NPR 3 minute Fiction contest that ended in September. Writers were invited to send in original stories 600 words or less; the first and last lines of the story were furnished.

Filler

The Kansas City Star newspaper has a little filler space called Weird News which shows up on a regular basis when news is slower than usual.  It usually is talking about doofuses who have gotten apprehended by the local gendarmes for questionable activities. 

A man was put in jail because he had threatened to kill his wife. They gave him a phone call and stood within earshot as he got his wife on the phone. Then he proceeded to tell her that he was going to kill her.

Now there is a man who entirely missed the point.

Baby Talk

Liam Cooper Freely is a healthy beautiful newborn baby. As his parents and extended family stand quietly and admire him, each is lost in his or her own private reflection. 

What will he be like when he grows up?

Will he find beauty in nature?

Will he do well in school?

Will he be passionate about reading?

Will he get along with other kids and be happy?

Will he have good taste in clothes? 

One person knows at a glance the answer to his question is a big fat yes.

Must Haves

How do they do it? Every fall the fashion industry in its big, blustery voice declares last year’s stuff, well — so last year. 

And in an amazing whirl of superlatives the hot new trends are announced that put a strangle-hold on holiday gift lists from coast to coast. Saavy marketeers that they are — they keep their messages short and sweet, the better to hammer ’em home.

You can say you heard about your must-haves here first, unless you’ve already read the September Glamour.  Their tips for updating your fall wardrobe? Buy a menswear jacket, add something sparkly or shiny and get yourself a cross body bag that can go over the shoulder.  To be a real trend setter – wear black and white separates, add socks, and rock an animal print with wedge booties.

This mother-of-all-fashion mags has over 2 million readers, most of them between the ages of 18-49. One of their most popular columns is Do’s and Don’ts.  Unsuspecting fashion victims and stars are caught in candid shots while they stroll along the streets of US cities.  A black swatch over the faces of the Don’ts obscures their identities in a haphazard way. Read the magazine from back to front and you’ll run across it without wading through the incredible number of ads.

So, this is the fashion industry’s dirty little secret. It takes grit to be one of the Don’ts and a lot of people just take the easy way to Do-ness. Can’t say that I blame them.

I hear a cross body bag calling me by name.

Bona Fide Random Thought

The motels that line US highways and byways have undergone a renaissance of sorts in the last few years. Once travelers took their chances with their choice of an over-night stay. Would the bed be comfortable, the shower good, the air conditioner in good working order? 

No longer. The road-side inns of  America have been McDonalized. One is as the other, as the other — as the other.

Tom Bodett, the only spokesman Motel 6 ever had, started it.

In an early commercial for the motel chain, he ad libbed, “We’ll leave the light on for you.” And all of a sudden inn-keepers began looking at customers as friends of the family rather than the meal tickets they are. 

Probably someone found a close out sale on pillow top mattresses and that got the ball rolling.  Now all of the beds are high and soft and the sheets and comforters are folded in mysterious ways that are really tough to replicate.   

Hair dryers, irons and luggage racks are standard. All have room darkening curtains covered by see-through panels framed by useless drapes. There is a big screen tv, a directory of houses of worship and a completely neutral listing of nearby restaurants. The shower rods bow out beyond the front of the tub and the shower curtain has a clear horizontal panel at eye level. 

I love these places! But it’s a good thing that Hitchcock made Psycho in 1960. The shower scene at the Bates motel just wouldn’t have been the same if Janet Leigh had been able to see Perkins through her clear plastic eye level panel.  “Get out, creep face!  This isn’t your room!” Fade to darkness.

Sunday, Sunday

So after you read the paper, then whatta you going to do? Here’s a suggestion. Visit www.wordle.net and make yourself a word cloud. It’s free, it’s easy and it’s very creative. You will look like a genius, check it out.   

 Here’s something for the back of a t-shirt.

Or how about this for the front of a party invitation.

Here’s one suitable for framing. 

Overheard

Traveling by car across the US through each of the time zones is a great way to both see and hear the country. Despite regional differences there’s an underlying connectedness.

Easterners are always coming and going and love to talk about their traffic. 

Oh-my-god, we need to leave now, right now or we’re gonna get caught for hoours. Which way should we go?

Well, I’d take Kelly Drive over to Springfield, down Chestnut Hill and across to the interstate.

Are you kiddin’ me!? That’s a terrible way to go with the detour on Hanson and 7th. It pulls all that traffic onto Maple which flows into Springfield.

Why do you ask me which way if you aren’t going to pay attention? Go your own way. Don’t blame me when we’re late.

In the mid-west, weather is the first thing mentioned after hell-o. 

 So beautiful day, today, huh? Turned off the furnace and opened the doors!

You got that right. But su’posed to change later on this week.  Heard it on the weather channel.

Really? Well, I heard that we’re gonna have spring all week long. I’m planning on getting my flowers in.

 Well, good luck with that. I’d have a back up plan if I was you.  Don’t blame me if they freeze.   (Ha Ha)

People living in mountain time don’t talk much at all, they’re too busy breathing.

New mountain bike, I see. (Pant.)

Yeah. (Pant. Pant. Pant.)

I’ll slow down a little. (Pant)

If I have a stroke I’m blamin’ you.  (Pant. Pant. Pant. Pant.)  

And when they’re not eating, it seems like they’re talking about food on the west coast.  

So, let’s try the new pizza place next to the pharmacy — they have wood fired ovens and use a lot of leeks.

Oh, geeze, could we hold off on the pizza for a while? I’m in a mood for organic spring greens with a light balsamic vinaigrette.

Like where? Napoleons? — They have a good chopped salad, Rooster’s has that new Asian Undertow or there’s always Rossi’s with the gorgonzola on arugula.

Oh, yeah! Gorgonzola.  Well, you decide, and I won’t blame you if it sucks. 

Power to the People

I hear one reason there are not more revolutions is that people tend to compare themselves to people who are in the same boat they are rather than those who are better off.  

At least that is certainly the case with me.

I watch HGTV for hours without feeling the least bit dissatisfied with my surroundings. My friends are not among that group who are buying cliff-side villas in Italy or remodeling summer homes on the Cape.  Not that they couldn’t, mind you, it’s just that they wouldn’t.

Angela Ismalio changed all that for me. I was happily flipping through a magazine one day and happened upon her.  Her hair was streaming in the wind, her dress was billowing behind her and she was standing on the deck of her new 164 foot racing yacht, the Barracuda, that matched her outfit: the sails were a deep eggplant and the hull was a burnished gold-bronze. 

I can just barely swim but all of a sudden I want to OWN that yacht. 

A big name designer had done the interior in what some would call luxurious minimalism.  It is all dove grey leather and cashmere with edited accessories and lots of recessed lighting. Not exactly my taste, but workable — if you know what I mean.

The cut-line on the photo explains that Angela had grown up sitting on the terrace of her father’s office,  a Greek shipping magnate, and marveling “at the panoply of vessels streaming through the bay.” I could feel my emerging dis-satisfaction. Daughter of a magnate who was bright enough to marvel at a panoply!? No sly gossip about out of control drug use, over-the-top ego, or seamy love triangles?

No as a matter of fact, she has just finished producing and directing a documentary on great names in film-making called Great Directors; it is said to be an award contender.  

Angela, I’m sorry to say, you make me want to stand in front of  the white house lawn and carry a sign, A YACHT IN EVERY POT.