Today we had a service for someone who said often and emphatically, ” I don’t want a service.” It’s not like we could have mis-interpreted– she said quite clearly that she wanted her ashes to be scattered at her parent’s graves in Montana without fuss, without bother.

But we simply couldn’t do that. We couldn’t help ourselves.

We came together and assembled a chorus to talk about how much she had meant to us, how wise she was, how good she was, how much she was missed.

And oh my, if you were listening, you could hear her say, “Whatever are they doing? I told them no fuss, no bother!”

A life well-lived exacts a toll. It leaves a wide swath of memories and experiences which are not easily exorcised from the people you leave behind. So we toast, we remember, we re-tell our stories — and, we finally let you go.

How do people do it?

Take great pictures, write good copy, Blog, take out the garbage, clean up after the sick cat, go to the store, fix dinner, water the plants on the porch, Blog, catch up with e-mail, stay in touch with new babies in the family, plan a vacation, Blog, take care of a volunteer assignment, write a reference, pick out a faucet, and take the car in for an oil change and Blog.

Oh, and then, gee whiz – add a family to the mix with kids who will not be ignored.  (And I don’t even Have that problem.)

I’m flummoxed.

I’ve been playing scrabble with my best friend for the last couple of nights and I have been beaten Badly. No, I mean BADLY. I am a reasonably articulate person, and it slays me that I can’t make better than 4 letter words most time when facing that Scrabble board.

I’m experiencing a crisis of confidence. And I can’t help thinking that it will end when I can play f.l.u.m.m.o.x.e.d. Wish me well.